I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
