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• (312): View more from Illinois

  We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?

  (312): View more from Illinois

  But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.

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• (352): View more from Florida

  Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.

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• (516): View more from New York

  i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet

  (770): View more from Georgia

  What is my life?

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink

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