Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
