In the future we'll all be gay
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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