just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
