That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
