I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
