porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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