he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
