I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Just high enough for therapy.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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