maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
