You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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