I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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