so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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