Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
try to milk me bitch
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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