It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
