I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
