I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize