make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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