My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
