if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
