Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
