some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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