when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
