haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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