I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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