I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
