I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
