So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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