i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
