that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
