he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
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