awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
