I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
