Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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