I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize