So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
