This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
