brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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