Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize
