She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
