Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize