I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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