I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
