week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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