I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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