I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
