Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
