For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
