i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
