If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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