Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
