You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
