apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
