So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
