There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
