But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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