i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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