I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
