I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
