The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
