and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
