gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
