wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Then you guys just all showered together...?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
