in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
